What Is Behavioral Activation?
Behavioral Activation (BA) is a structured, evidence-based approach to treating depression that focuses on engaging in meaningful and rewarding activities to improve mood and overall well-being. Rather than waiting for motivation or a change in emotions before taking action, BA emphasizes taking action first to create positive emotional shifts. It is grounded in the idea that depression often leads to avoidance and withdrawal, which further reinforces feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and fatigue.
By identifying and engaging in activities that bring a sense of accomplishment, connection, or enjoyment, individuals can break the cycle of inactivity and low mood. The process helps re-establish a sense of purpose, structure, and fulfillment in daily life.
How Behavioral Activation Helps Treat Depression
Depression often causes individuals to lose interest in activities they once enjoyed and avoid responsibilities or social interactions. This avoidance, while providing short-term relief, leads to a deeper sense of disconnection and reinforces depressive symptoms. BA works by:
Encouraging gradual re-engagement in activities that align with personal values and interests.
Replacing unhelpful behaviors (such as excessive sleeping or isolating) with more rewarding ones.
Increasing exposure to positive reinforcement through social engagement, exercise, creative expression, or personal achievements.
Helping individuals track the relationship between their behaviors and moods, making it easier to recognize patterns and make adjustments.
By intentionally scheduling activities that promote well-being, individuals can begin to experience small but meaningful improvements in their mood and energy levels over time.
Using Behavioral Activation to Identify and Live by Your Core Values
Behavioral Activation is not just about treating depression; it is also a powerful tool for self-discovery and value-based living. When we are out of alignment with our core values, we may feel unfulfilled, lost, or emotionally drained. Engaging in intentional actions that reflect what truly matters to us can help create a life that feels meaningful and authentic.
To identify your core values, consider these journal prompts:
What moments in my life have felt the most meaningful? What was I doing, and why did it matter to me?
Who are the people I admire most? What qualities or actions do they embody that I respect?
If I had unlimited time and resources, how would I spend my days?
What activities make me lose track of time because I enjoy them so much?
When I feel proud of myself, what behaviors or choices have led to that feeling?
After reflecting on these prompts, identify recurring themes and words that stand out. These are clues to your core values, such as connection, creativity, growth, kindness, adventure, or integrity. Once you have a clearer idea of your values, use BA to integrate them into your life.
Examples of Core Values in Behavioral Activation
Here are some common core values that can be incorporated into Behavioral Activation practices:
Connection: Spending time with loved ones, reaching out to friends, joining social groups.
Creativity: Painting, writing, playing music, crafting, engaging in DIY projects.
Growth: Learning a new skill, taking a class, reading books that challenge your perspective.
Kindness: Volunteering, helping a neighbor, practicing small acts of generosity.
Adventure: Exploring new places, trying new foods, taking on physical challenges.
Integrity: Standing up for what you believe in, being honest, aligning actions with personal ethics.
Health: Engaging in regular exercise, preparing nutritious meals, prioritizing rest.
Spirituality: Practicing meditation, attending religious or spiritual gatherings, reflecting on purpose.
Leadership: Mentoring others, taking on responsibilities at work or in the community.A Guide to Incorporating Behavioral Activation into Daily Life
Here’s a step-by-step process to begin using BA in a way that aligns with your values:
Identify Value-Aligned Activities: Based on your journal reflections, choose small actions that reflect your core values. If connection is important to you, an action might be reaching out to a friend. If creativity is a value, it could be painting or writing for 10 minutes.
Start Small: Depression can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Begin with low-effort, manageable activities and gradually increase difficulty as you gain confidence.
Schedule Activities: Treat your chosen actions as non-negotiable appointments in your day. Having a set time and plan increases the likelihood of follow-through.
Track Your Mood and Behavior: Keep a journal or log where you note what activities you did and how they made you feel. This helps reinforce positive patterns and allows for adjustments if needed.
Practice Self-Compassion: Some days will be harder than others. If you struggle to follow through, acknowledge it without self-judgment and try again the next day.
Reflect and Adjust: Regularly assess whether your activities are fulfilling and aligned with your values. If something isn’t working, modify your approach rather than giving up altogether.
Conclusion
Behavioral Activation is a practical and powerful tool for both overcoming depression and creating a life that reflects your deepest values. By intentionally engaging in meaningful activities, you can shift your mood, reconnect with what matters most, and build a fulfilling, purpose-driven life. Start small, be patient with yourself, and trust that each step forward is a step toward healing and alignment.
What’s one small, value-aligned action you can take today?
References
Martell, C. R., Dimidjian, S., & Herman-Dunn, R. (2013). Behavioral Activation for Depression: A Clinician's Guide. The Guilford Press.
Kanter, J. W., Busch, A. M., & Rusch, L. C. (2009). Behavioral Activation: Distinctive Features. Routledge.
Mazzucchelli, T. G., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2010). "Behavioral activation interventions for well-being: A meta-analysis." The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5(2), 105-121.
Veale, D. (2008). "Behavioral activation for depression." Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 14(1), 29-36.
What is EMDR?
A Healing Approach Rooted in Tradition and Science
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful psychotherapy approach that helps people heal from trauma and distressing life experiences. Developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR has evolved into one of the most well-researched and effective treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other psychological conditions.
But EMDR isn’t just a modern scientific breakthrough—it also has deep connections to traditional healing practices, particularly those found in Indigenous cultures. The bilateral stimulation at the core of EMDR (through eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones) echoes rhythmic healing methods used by Indigenous healers, such as drumming, dancing, and storytelling. These practices engage both hemispheres of the brain, promoting integration and the release of trauma stored in the body.
How Does EMDR Work?
EMDR works by guiding individuals through a structured eight-phase process. The therapy involves recalling distressing memories while engaging in bilateral stimulation, which helps reprocess the memories so they lose their emotional charge. Over time, the memory remains, but its impact is reduced, allowing the person to move forward without being overwhelmed by past experiences.
Research suggests that traumatic memories are stored in a fragmented way in the brain, making it difficult for individuals to process them fully. EMDR helps reintegrate these memories, shifting them from a distressing, unprocessed state to an adaptive resolution. This allows individuals to feel relief from the emotional weight of their trauma without having to recount it in extensive detail.
EMDR vs. Traditional Talk Therapy
While talk therapy (such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or psychodynamic approaches) is highly beneficial for many, EMDR offers unique advantages, particularly for trauma survivors:
Less Reliance on Verbal Processing: Unlike traditional therapy, EMDR does not require individuals to retell their trauma in depth. This can be particularly beneficial for those who find it difficult to verbalize their experiences or who feel retraumatized by talking about them repeatedly.
Accelerated Healing: Studies show that EMDR can produce faster results than traditional talk therapy, with many clients experiencing relief in fewer sessions.
Engages the Body’s Natural Healing Mechanisms: EMDR aligns with somatic-based approaches, helping to release trauma that is stored not just in the mind but also in the body.
Effectiveness Across Various Trauma Types: EMDR is used to treat PTSD, anxiety, depression, phobias, and even complex trauma, making it a versatile therapeutic option.
The Efficacy of EMDR: What the Research Says
Numerous studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of EMDR in treating trauma-related disorders:
A meta-analysis published in The Journal of Anxiety Disorders found that EMDR is as effective as, or more effective than, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) for PTSD.
The American Psychological Association (APA) and the World Health Organization (WHO) both recommend EMDR as a frontline treatment for PTSD.
Studies indicate that up to 84-90% of single-trauma victims experience significant relief from PTSD symptoms after just three EMDR sessions (Journal of Traumatic Stress).
A 2018 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that EMDR led to significant reductions in depression and anxiety symptoms, not just trauma-related distress.
Preparing for EMDR: Journal Prompts for Resource Building
Before diving into trauma reprocessing, EMDR therapists help clients build internal resources to enhance emotional stability and resilience. Journaling can be a helpful way to develop these resources. Here are some prompts to get started:
Safe Place Visualization: If you could create a safe, peaceful place in your mind, what would it look like? Describe it in detail, including the sights, sounds, and feelings associated with it.
Strength and Resilience List: Write about a time when you overcame a difficult situation. What strengths did you rely on? How can you remind yourself of these strengths when facing challenges?
Support System Reflection: Who are the people in your life that bring you comfort and encouragement? How can you reach out to them when you need support?
Positive Affirmations: What are some statements that make you feel strong and grounded? Examples: “I am safe,” “I am in control of my healing,” “I have survived difficult times before.”
Grounding Techniques: What are some ways you soothe yourself when you feel overwhelmed? (e.g., deep breathing, movement, holding an object with a comforting texture, listening to calming music).
Emotional Awareness Check-In: What emotions have been most present for you lately? How do you typically respond to them, and what would a compassionate response look like?
Body Awareness Exploration: Where do you carry stress or tension in your body? What activities help you release that tension?
By exploring these prompts, individuals can develop inner stability before engaging in deeper trauma work, making the EMDR process more effective and sustainable.
Final Thoughts
EMDR is a transformative therapy that integrates both ancient and modern healing wisdom. By helping individuals reprocess traumatic memories without re-experiencing their full emotional intensity, EMDR offers a powerful path to healing.
Whether you're considering EMDR for yourself or simply interested in learning more about trauma recovery, understanding its roots, effectiveness, and unique benefits can empower you on your mental health journey.
If you are interested in trying EMDR for yourself please get in touch! I have sliding scale places available for Black Queer &/or Trans people and also have some pro bono spots available for Black people who have been impacted by LA fires. You can reach me through the contact box on the site or send an email to Expand AT Kemoy.de
References
American Psychological Association. (2017). Clinical practice guideline for the treatment of PTSD. APA.
Chen, Y. R., Hung, K. W., Tsai, J. C., Chu, H., Chung, M. H., Ou, K. L., & Chou, K. R. (2014). Efficacy of eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing for patients with posttraumatic-stress disorder: A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 28(1), 1-11.
Valiente-Gómez, A., Moreno-Alcázar, A., Bellsolà, M., Radua, J., Albajes-Eizagirre, A., Soler, J., & Urretavizcaya, M. (2018). EMDR beyond PTSD: A systematic literature review. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 2008.
Wilson, D. L., Becker, L. A., & Tinker, R. H. (1995). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) treatment for psychologically traumatized individuals. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 8(4), 555-561.
World Health Organization. (2013). Guidelines for the management of conditions specifically related to stress. WHO.
Developing an Authentic Self: A Psychological Perspective
Understanding the Authentic Self
The concept of the authentic self has been widely explored in psychology, particularly in humanistic and existential theories. Carl Rogers, one of the foremost humanistic psychologists, described authenticity as living in alignment with one's true values, feelings, and beliefs rather than conforming to societal expectations (Rogers, 1961). Authenticity involves self-awareness, self-acceptance, and the courage to express one's genuine thoughts and emotions.
Why Authenticity Matters
Studies show that living authentically is correlated with greater life satisfaction, psychological well-being, and resilience (Wood et al., 2008). When individuals live according to their true selves, they experience less stress and anxiety and develop deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Challenges to Developing an Authentic Self
While authenticity is deeply rewarding, several factors can make it challenging to achieve:
Social Conditioning – Many individuals grow up internalizing societal, familial, or cultural expectations that may conflict with their inner desires and values.
Fear of Rejection – Expressing one’s true self can be intimidating, especially when it goes against the norms of a social group.
Low Self-Awareness – Without regular self-reflection, people may struggle to distinguish between their true desires and external influences.
Trauma and Past Experiences – Difficult experiences, especially in childhood, can create coping mechanisms that suppress authenticity.
Perfectionism and People-Pleasing – A desire to meet others’ expectations can overshadow personal needs and desires, leading to inauthentic living.
Steps to Cultivate an Authentic Self
1. Increase Self-Awareness
Engage in self-reflection to understand your core values, emotions, and motivations.
Journal regularly to track thoughts and feelings.
2. Practice Self-Acceptance
Embrace imperfections and recognize that flaws do not diminish your worth.
Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with self-compassionate language.
3. Identify Core Values
List the top five values that guide your decisions.
Reflect on whether your current lifestyle aligns with these values.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
Learn to say no to activities and people that do not align with your authentic self.
Surround yourself with supportive individuals who respect your true nature.
5. Express Yourself Genuinely
Speak your truth even in small ways, such as voicing personal opinions and preferences.
Engage in creative or meaningful activities that reflect your inner self.
Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery
What are my core values, and how do they influence my decisions?
When do I feel most like myself? What activities or people contribute to this feeling?
What parts of myself do I suppress, and why?
How can I practice self-acceptance in my daily life?
What fears prevent me from being my true self, and how can I work through them?
How do I differentiate between my own desires and societal expectations?
In what areas of life am I pretending to be someone I’m not? What steps can I take to change that?
Last thing
Developing an authentic self is a lifelong journey that requires patience, courage, and introspection. While external pressures and past experiences may make this process difficult, the rewards—greater peace, fulfillment, and genuine relationships—are well worth the effort.
By engaging in self-reflection, aligning with personal values, and practicing self-acceptance, you can cultivate a more authentic and meaningful life.
Be sure to sign up to my newsletter so you can be the first to know when there is a new blog post, workshop, event or opportunity for us to work together.
References
Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin.
Wood, A. M., Linley, P. A., Maltby, J., Baliousis, M., & Joseph, S. (2008). The authentic personality: A theoretical and empirical conceptualization and the development of the Authenticity Scale. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 55(3), 385–399.
Additional Reading on Developing an Authentic Self
"The Gifts of Imperfection" – Brené Brown (2010)
A guide to embracing vulnerability, courage, and self-compassion to live authentically."Daring Greatly" – Brené Brown (2012)
Explores how vulnerability fosters authenticity and meaningful connections."The Untethered Soul" – Michael A. Singer (2007)
A deep dive into self-awareness, inner freedom, and the nature of consciousness."Radical Acceptance" – Tara Brach (2003)
Encourages self-compassion and mindfulness to embrace one’s true self."Atomic Habits" – James Clear (2018)
While focused on habit formation, this book helps in aligning actions with authentic goals."The Four Agreements" – Don Miguel Ruiz (1997)
A spiritual and philosophical approach to personal integrity and authenticity."Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" – Greg McKeown (2014)
Encourages focusing on what truly matters and letting go of societal pressures."The Courage to Be Disliked" – Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga (2013)
Based on Adlerian psychology, this book emphasizes living freely and authentically."Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking" – Susan Cain (2012)
Explores authenticity in the context of introversion and societal expectations."Lost Connections" – Johann Hari (2018)
Discusses how disconnection from our true selves contributes to mental health struggles.
I have not read all of these myself, but they have come highly recommended!
Overcoming your inner critic
Understand how the inner critic is formed and ways that you can overcome it with practical examples and journal prompts.
Understanding the Inner Critic Through Object Relations Theory
Many of us have an inner voice that criticizes, doubts, and judges our actions. This internalized self-criticism—known as the inner critic—can shape our emotions, behaviors, and sense of self-worth. From an Object Relations Theory perspective, the inner critic is not simply negative self-talk; it is an internalized voice from early relationships, often modeled after critical caregivers or authority figures. Understanding this concept can help us work through self-judgment and cultivate self-compassion.
The Origins of the Inner Critic in Object Relations Theory
Object Relations Theory, developed by Melanie Klein, Donald Winnicott, and Otto Kernberg, suggests that our sense of self is formed through relationships, particularly those in early childhood. These interactions shape our internal objects—mental representations of caregivers and authority figures that continue to influence us into adulthood.
1. Internalization of Early Relationships
When we are young, we internalize the messages we receive from parents, teachers, and society. If these figures were highly critical or demanding, we unconsciously absorb their expectations and judgments, which later manifest as the inner critic (Klein, 1946).
This internalized critical voice is often an attempt to gain approval or avoid rejection by adhering to external standards.
2. The Role of Splitting in Self-Criticism
Klein’s concept of splitting explains how children initially see figures as either “good” or “bad.” When a caregiver is both loving and critical, the child struggles to integrate these experiences, often developing a harsh self-judging part that punishes them for perceived failures.
This leads to perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and chronic guilt, as the individual constantly strives to meet impossible standards.
3. The False Self vs. the True Self
Donald Winnicott (1960) introduced the idea of the false self, a personality shaped by external expectations rather than genuine needs. Many people suppress their true emotions to conform to their inner critic’s demands.
Over time, therapy helps individuals reconnect with their true self—the authentic part of them that can exist without excessive self-judgment.
Case Example: Overcoming the Inner Critic
Sarah, a 32-year-old performace artist, struggled with extreme self-criticism. Despite professional success, she constantly felt “not good enough.” When she made mistakes, she replayed them obsessively, convinced she would be judged by others.
In therapy, Sarah explored her childhood experiences. She realized her inner critic echoed the voice of her mother, who had high expectations and was quick to point out her flaws. She internalized his standards, believing that any mistake meant she was a failure.
Through object relations therapy, Sarah worked on:
Recognizing that her inner critic was not her true voice but an internalized parental figure.
Differentiating between realistic self-improvement and destructive self-judgment.
Replacing her harsh inner voice with a more compassionate, encouraging self-dialogue.
After months of therapy, Sarah was able to acknowledge mistakes without spiraling into self-hatred, allowing her to grow professionally and personally without fear.
Rewriting the Inner Critic’s Script
This exercise helps soften the inner critic and cultivate self-compassion.
Step 1: Identify the Inner Critic’s Voice
Write down a recent situation where your inner critic was particularly loud.
What did it say? Be as specific as possible.
Step 2: Identify Its Origin
Ask yourself: Whose voice does this sound like? (A parent, teacher, society?)
What did they say or do to make you adopt this belief?
Step 3: Challenge the Inner Critic
Write a compassionate response as if you were speaking to a friend who had the same thoughts.
Example: If your inner critic says, “You’re so stupid for making that mistake,” reframe it as “Everyone makes mistakes. This doesn’t define you.”
Step 4: Create a Self-Compassionate Affirmation
Replace the inner critic’s voice with an empowering statement:
“I am learning and growing.”
“I deserve kindness from myself.”
“I am enough as I am.”
Conclusion
Understanding the inner critic through Object Relations Theory helps us recognize that self-judgment is not an inherent truth but an internalized voice from our past. By identifying its origins and practicing self-compassion, we can begin to soften its hold, allowing our true self to emerge.
If you resonate with these struggles, therapy can be a powerful tool to help you break free from the cycle of self-criticism.Your inner critic is not your true self—it is a learned voice that can be unlearned. By recognizing where it comes from and developing a self-compassionate voice, you can move from self-judgment to self-acceptance.
Would you like to learn more about overcoming the inner critic? I am currently working on a workbook on this very subject. Feel free to suscribe to my newletter so you can be the first to know when it is available for download!
References
Klein, M. (1946). Notes on Some Schizoid Mechanisms. International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 27, 99-110.
Klein’s work on internal objects explains how early childhood experiences shape self-perception, including the formation of the inner critic.
Kernberg, O. (1975). Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism. New York: Aronson.
Kernberg’s theory on introjection and ego development discusses how harsh parental figures become internalized as self-critical voices.
Winnicott, D. W. (1960). Ego Distortion in Terms of True and False Self. In The Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment, 140-152.
Winnicott introduced the concept of the false self, which explains how people suppress their true selves to meet external expectations, often reinforcing the inner critic.
Fairbairn, W. R. D. (1952). Psychoanalytic Studies of the Personality. London: Routledge.
Fairbairn described how early attachment dynamics create internalized "bad objects," which can later manifest as self-criticism.
Guntrip, H. (1971). Psychoanalytic Theory, Therapy, and the Self. New York: Basic Books.
Explores how unresolved childhood experiences lead to internal conflicts, including the struggle with an overactive inner critic.
The Impact of Trauma on the Body and Mind
Exploring Holistic Healing with EMDR and Yoga
Trauma leaves deep imprints on both the body and the mind, affecting emotional, mental, and physical well-being. For Black queer people navigating unique intersections of identity in Berlin, holistic healing approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and yoga offer powerful alternatives to traditional talk therapy. These modalities address the somatic (body-based) effects of trauma, providing a path toward healing and empowerment.
Understanding Trauma’s Impact on the Body and Mind
Trauma is not just a psychological event; it’s a full-body experience. When we encounter a threat, our nervous system activates a fight, flight, or freeze response. If the trauma is unresolved, these responses can become chronic, manifesting as:
Mental effects: Anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, and difficulty concentrating.
Physical symptoms: Chronic pain, tension, fatigue, and gastrointestinal issues.
Emotional dysregulation: Difficulty managing emotions, mood swings, or feeling disconnected.
Navigating societal discrimination, racism, and homophobia can compound these effects, making it essential to address trauma at its root.
The Limitations of Talk Therapy for Trauma
While talk therapy has been a valuable tool for mental health, it often falls short in addressing trauma’s somatic imprint. Talking about traumatic experiences can:
Re-trigger distress without resolving underlying body-based responses.
Overemphasize cognitive understanding, leaving physical and emotional patterns unaddressed.
Provide limited tools for reconnecting with a sense of safety and stability in the body.
For those seeking comprehensive healing, it’s important to consider modalities that integrate both the mind and body.
The Benefits of EMDR for Trauma Healing
EMDR is a trauma-focused therapy that leverages bilateral stimulation (e.g., guided eye movements or tapping) to help reprocess distressing memories. This approach goes beyond talk therapy by:
Engaging the nervous system: Bilateral stimulation helps regulate the nervous system, reducing hyperarousal and fostering a sense of calm.
Reprocessing traumatic memories: EMDR allows individuals to revisit painful experiences without becoming overwhelmed, creating new, less distressing associations.
Integrating mind and body: By addressing the physiological aspects of trauma, EMDR helps resolve emotional and somatic blocks.
For Black, Queer or other marginalised individuals, EMDR can be especially transformative, offering tools to process both personal and/or intergenerational trauma.
The Role of Yoga in Trauma Healing
Yoga is another powerful practice for healing trauma. Rooted in ancient traditions, yoga combines movement, breathwork, and mindfulness to:
Regulate the nervous system: Gentle yoga poses and breath techniques activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and safety.
Reconnect with the body: Trauma often creates disconnection from the body. Yoga helps rebuild trust and awareness in physical sensations.
Cultivate mindfulness: Through present-moment awareness, yoga reduces rumination and enhances emotional regulation.
Trauma healing is a deeply personal journey, but it doesn’t have to rely solely on talk therapy. EMDR and yoga offer holistic, somatic pathways to process trauma and reclaim your sense of self. By addressing the mind-body connection, these practices can transform pain into empowerment, fostering resilience and peace. I offer both EMDR Therapy and 1-1 yoga sessions as a part of my practice. I will soon be offering small group yoga classes to Black, Queer People with a focus on healing from trauma so be sure to sign up for my mailing list to be the first to know when spots are available.
References
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.
Shapiro, F. (2001). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures. Guilford Press.
Emerson, D., & Hopper, E. (2011). Overcoming Trauma through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body. North Atlantic Books.
Levine, P. (1997). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. North Atlantic Books.