Making a slow return

After a longer than expected pause from social media and all things Kemoy.de related I have now decided that its time for a comeback and a revamp. I don’t typically share much about myself in my work and this is something that I am trying to change. There's this concept of Therapist being a ‘ blank Slate’ and although I never truly believed in this because I´m Black and Queer and know I will always bring myself and my experiences into the therapy room with me to an extent- I did feel like there were/ are many aspects of myself and life I had to keep private to maintain an air of “professionalism”. I always struggled with how to navigate this balance between personal life and professional life and felt that what I was sharing and creating felt superficial because it left out so much of myself.  While working in the queer and bipoc communities I found this exceptionally challenging because then I was in the situation where I was creating a distance between myself and the same people I wanted to be in community with. It's exhausting and isolating to keep up this facade  when a whirlwind of life is going on behind the scenes.

Being a Black and Queer Therapist in Berlin is also a hard place to be because I don't often see therapists who look like me, in reality I don't know any other Black and Queer therapists. I barely know other Black OR Queer Therapists so I've often felt isolated in the field and that feeling of isolation spread to my personal life here in berlin. Instagram and the internet  hav been a blessing because I get to see others like me and feel a little less alone.It has allowed me to learn from and be inspired by people like me doing this kind of work. So in coming back to social media this is my attempt at sharing more of myself in an attempt to connect with others and hopefully inspire others to do the same because at the end of the day Therapist and real and imperfect people.

The past few months

Between being kicked out of my last flat with little notice, dealing with strained familial relationships and the never ending struggle of trying to find secure housing in Berlin, things have been challenging to say the least. I realized that I had been coasting in this state of emotional burnout for so long I had become accustomed to it. I started my private practice at the beginning of 2020 and worked continuously throughout the pandemic and lockdowns with little to no breaks from client work. I was drained me emotionally and I began feeling very detached from my work. There weren't many things nurturing me and yet I was still trying my best to show up for my clients. Although I was dealing with burnout I was still training as a doula, learning about birthwork and stepping into the world of supporting clients in the this way, doing continual professional development, training and certifying in EMDR Psychotherapy , investing in SEO to understand more about how to grow my business and reach the clients and organizations I want to be working with all while running on below E. At the beginning of this year I started to realize that I was doing so much with so little energy and I was really beginning to lose my sense of direction. 

 I started slowing things down, I stopped my private practice, I stopped accepting new Doula clients and finally I decided to take a break from IG. I could not take a full stop because this is the world we live in and bills still needed to be paid, but I am grateful that I was able to take this time and space to ground and recenter and get back in alignment with my values and the reasons I am doing this work. I spent a lot of time with myself and got comfortable with this. I worked on building presence and trying not to let myself be overcome by worry. I spent a lot of time crocheting and exploring my creativity in ways I had never done before, listening to  a lot of audio books, eating, healing my body and my relationship to my body by doing dance fitness classes, and joining a school to learn contortion, finding a regular sleep schedule and listening to a lot of yoga nidra. I  tried to embrace time to just be. I think this time was really long overdue— I needed to take some time, slow things down and really think about how I want to move forward in my life and in my business. I still don't have it all figured out but here I am anyway, a little more energetic and a little more enthusiastic about making it up as I go along.

Me X Social Media

I have always had a hard time with social media and felt that when I made my ‘return to Instagram’ I needed to have this perfect content strategy planned out, and post 3 xs per day so I could grow my following by X percent and felt completely overwhelmed by it. Maybe it is also my Virgo tendency to strive for perfection. But then I tried to remind myself that it doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be done.

So even though I do not have the perfect content strategy I am starting somewhere. I plan to use my social media presence as a place to share more about Mental Health and Wellness, focussing on  Psychodynamic Counselling, EMDR, Yoga and Yoga Nidra and how these things can help to improve wellbeing and quality of life.I also want to use it as a space to share my work and hopefully connect with others. I have some collaborations that I am working on that I am excited and nervous about. I will be working with EOTO throughout the summer offering some group sessions on different topics on mental health within  Black and Queer Communities. I will also be offering some outdoor yoga sessions with them later in the summer.

 I will be working with Hydra to offer crisis counselling and EMDR to SWers in Berlin at no cost to them, and I will also be starting my Private practice again this time with more of a focus on EMDR and using this to support those who have C/PTSD or Trauma.

 I have a lot of ideas and am interested in many things so I am doing my best to pace myself as I begin this new chapter. I want this to be sustainable and I am trying to practice patience - I would love to be able to offer a regular yoga class for BIPOc online or in person, I have this professional podcast mic from my Convos with Kemoy era that I would like to put to use recording yoga nidra scripts for the community, and would like to get back to hosting a regular support group for BIPOC queers. When i started my IG I wanted it to be a space to connect with others interested in Queer BIPOC mental health and wellness, and to foster some sense of community, I wanted it to be a place where I could share more of what I have learned and am continuously learning with yall so that you could benefit from it in the ways that I have and this is what I want to get back to.  I am constantly inspired by those around me and more than anything I want to inspire others to rest, to learn how to care for themselves, how to nurture relationships and foster a sense of community, and most importantly unlearning the patterns of thoughts and behaviors that might leave you feeling stuck, hurt or unsure of yourself. These are things that I am still learning how to do and I hope that we can go on this journey of learning and self discovery together.